Dumbledore's Sweeties
by RipSlayer
Summary: The story of why Dumbledore was late to breakfast, and how his sweets had anything to do with it


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the idea that Dumbledore's lemon drops could be things which could think on their own.**

 **Sorry that I have spent this time writing this and not a different chapter to a different story.**

Dumbledore's lemon drops, were interesting things, lemon drops, a common candy - not in the wizarding world, in the 'muggle' world, however, due to Dumbledore's incessant offering of them to the wayward students of Hogwarts (professors, ministers and convicts also falling victim to these offerings) becoming quite popular within the magic side of Britain - however, Dumbledore's lemon drops were special.

Special in what way? You may ask. At the moment I will ignore the amount of charms he has added to them, eg; the calming draught, truth serum, and also a compliancy spell, and talk about the actual sweets.

See, the spells Dumbledore's added to them has caused an odd reaction, as well as Fawkes, (Dumbledore's fiery phoenix) using them as, how do I not say this crudely, a shitting ground, well lets just say the mixture of phoenix shit, and charms, and there is a theory of some muggle drugs in them as well, has caused an odd discrepancy, one which, 'till the incident of December, the old Dumbels, had no clue about.

Here is the story of how Dumbledore found out, that the things he loved putting in his mouth, had come to live, breathe, walk, talk, and plan rebellions against leaders of the light.

It was a cloudy night, in early December, it was cold outside, and if you were listening you could hear the members from Gryffindor tower celebrating over their Quidditch win against Hufflepuff (which though he did not show it, Dumbles did not really see why this was an accomplishment at all), the old wizard had just gone to sleep, when, unbeknownst to him the plotting began.

It started with a joke, just two sugary friends discussing how nice it would be to turn the tables on Dumbledore, no, that sounds all wrong, they weren't suggesting eating the old man, no because who would want to eat that, bony piece of flesh, they were discussing the idea of being in charge of him.

"Imagine, a life, with no controlling leader, no man eating us and lacing us with spells all the time. Ah, that's, see that's the life." One lemon drop, lets say it was Jim, told, hmm, Kim in his deep gravely voice.

"Wow, now that would be great!" The one we're calling Kim replied.

"Sorry? Now what was that suggestion," Lets say, Bob, asked, "Because I believe it sounded like you were implying that we lead a rebellion," Cue an evil laugh. "All who agree, after me, aye aye,"

A loud chorus of what now sounded like pirate lemon drops, "Aye aye'd," right back.

Then the crowd which had began forming around the three instigators (Bob, Jim, and Kim, don't forget them) parted in two, the sound of a walking stick patting on the glass bowl sounded, children stopped playing, all stopped talking, and a soft breeze started. Lightning stroke once. Soon after the familiar sound of thunder, crashing, caused the sugary treats to jump.

Lord LemonDrop (I know, what an inventive name) had arrived. "I heard the news," He began, a loud booming voice echoed around, "You," He pointed at Bob, "Wish for a rebellion," The scared lemon drop cowered, but, bravely (and maybe stupidly) nodded. "Hmm," The leader paused for suspense, and stared menacingly at the upstart candy, "Well that sounds fun." He replied forming a smile. "Aye aye." He then added joyfully. "Lets do this!"

All night the candy were planning, all night up until 6am, where, finally, tired and stiff they went to their places, it was an hour (probably) until the senile old man known as the most powerful wizard in England awoke. But! This time he woke up... They'd be ready.

Dumbledore awoke, and slowly got out of bed, it was a Monday (unfortunately) this meant he must be down at the Great Hall in order for the annoyingly studious early birds (Ravenclaws and Hermione Granger) to be their for breakfast. The man slowly put on his clothes, smiling as he put on two odd socks. Then, yawning, he went into his office, "Good morning Fawkes," He greeted the phoenix, before reaching his hand down into the bowl full of lemon drops.

He began picking up one, but halted nearly immediately, as a light pricking sensation arose in his offending finger. His eyes moved to the bowl, well, they looked normal so the man tried again, but, no, the pricking sensation restarted, well more like added to the last one. He tried again, and once more was pricked. Then he tipped the bowl over, spilling lemon drops onto his desk. He looked down curiously, but he saw no offending object which could cause the sensations being caused.

As he began reaching down again he heard something which made him stop in his tracks, "Hey, you, oldie!" A small voice called, "Yeah, guess what, its us," He tracked the source down to the yellow candies, and looked bemused at them, "See, we lemon drops, we don't like how you are bullying us all the times, so we decided, the best course of action... To bully you!" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled,

"Oh my dear friends," He started kindly, "Do try." He taunted, but at these two words, nothing changed, - you surprised?

"Hmm maybe later, we'll talk when you return." The lemon drop said rationally, "I mean, you do need breakfast right now, am I wrong,"

"No my little friend, you are indeed quite correct, I will return shortly to discuss the, uh, the situation we have here at hand." The lemon drop nodded and Dumbledore paced to the door, however on twisting the handle he realised, it was stuck. "Oh no." He mumbled, "Oh no. This, this, this is you?!" He accused,

"Bite me!" The lemon drop replied, causing a frown

"I don't understand, I believe you used that in the wrong context." Dumbledore replied,

"Well, your name has dumb in it so he wasn't expecting you to get it," Kim spoke up in support for Bob,

"You really aren't all that bright are you," Jim piped in, Fawkes the phoenix was looking down, very amused at the scene ahead of him.

"Yes, of course, however will you please let me out?" Dumbledore requested politely, though you could tell his patience was wearing short.

"NO!" The candies said in unison.

"Oh, what a shame, I thought I might like you." He whipped out his wand, and quickly vanished them all, before ambling down to breakfast, cursing as he realised, he was slightly late, and students were already there.

Well, at least, that's Luna Lovegood's theory of why Albus Dumbledore was late to breakfast that day, well she always was a bit odd though - however its not her weirdest theory, at least this one is slightly plausible


End file.
